As a concerned teacher, I was relieved when Studio K’s owner, Kalli Vandertop, announced in early March that the studio would close for everyone’s safety. All of us took to Zoom and scheduled online lessons with our students. In the same spirit, I ceased going into homes for music therapy and encouraged my clients to schedule online sessions.
For four weeks, I have been conducting as much business online as I possibly can. It’s true, many of my students and clients benefit from our time together each week, and most of my lesson plans and goals will change or regress. Still, I see no worth in either experience should it facilitate spreading the virus further. So I’ll stay home, wash my hands, and begin learning how to reach the needs of families via the internet.
In my experience so far, there have been successes and challenges alike. Here’s the first glimpse of what the last four weeks of online violin lessons and music therapy sessions have taught me as a teacher, mentor, and student.
Small Victories Count
As you may well understand, online experiences are not ideal for every individual, and it does not inherently accommodate all learning styles. Furthermore, the world is upside down and you better believe that the youngest generation is as affected as anyone else. Stress presents itself uniquely catered to each family, past experiences, and resources. For that, it’s increasingly important to recognize when your student is learning skills and concepts not written in this semester’s syllabus.
For my youngest student who has not yet learned the proper way to hold her violin bow, she must now learn mindfulness so that she can recognize when her shoulder hurts from the strain and tension she holds. I can’t wait to be in the studio again so that I can physically adjust her hand and arm to relieve the beginner’s pains; but amazingly, by learning to notice the way her body aches and then say it out loud, she is also gaining unanticipated skills of self-advocacy.
Furthermore, she has learned a new piece by ear and even written her own song. I never would have expected so much from her. Each week, despite the distance and new learning platform, she surprises me with her ability to attend to the computer screen for 30 minutes straight, memorize new music, and express herself. These are victories I did not necessarily plan for, but I will count them all.
Then The One Who Reminds Me of Myself
Of course, not all students have taken to Zoom lessons so readily. For some, it is the perfect opportunity for procrastination and avoidance. As the beginner student who has not yet found the instrument that excites her, my next featured artist finds that spinning the laptop in circles and making me queasy is the best way to spend the first 10 minutes of any lesson. Truly, there is no talking this student into anything she’s not already prepared to do. She is headstrong, creative, and mischievous. (Unfortunately, this is the same child I was when I began piano lessons. I guess karma might be having a good laugh at my expense). So naturally, I throw out the textbooks, scales, and metronome for this one. Instead, I begin making some of her favorite, hideous violin sounds.
Squeak. Moan. Groan. Shrill.
Then I hear her imitate the same noises from below the camera’s view.
We go back and forth for several minutes, imitating each other’s sounds, until clear notes begin to ring. Now I play a familiar phrase, she plays the next one. Then we trade. Finally, we’ve played through “Yankee Doodle” and “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” in the most Avant Garde styling anyone has ever produced – yet another victory.
Following this lesson, I took the opportunity to speak with my student about her goals, motivations, and needs. This brings me to my next lesson:
Never Ask “Why”
When things become difficult – when your student, child, or spouse refuses to engage, and you notice those first signs of resistance – never ask “Why?”
No other word in the human language will so efficiently put someone on the defense. Excuses, blaming, scapegoats, and more will come out of the woodwork as you solidify their feelings of resistance. When I opened a conversation about motivation with my defiant student, I asked only how she felt about playing the violin, what she liked the most and the least about playing it, and how can we make her experience motivating. The girl was nervous at first, looking away and drawing back from the computer, but by avoiding the accusatory question, “Why won’t you practice,” she felt neither judged nor pressured. Instead, she stated that she would like to write a song. She let me know that she felt absolutely no motivation to practice. She likes to play music, but only by her own rules. And there, I’ve found the key!
To unlock anyone’s resistance, be it your own or your struggling student’s, you must find intrinsic motivation. That is, motivation that comes not from the opinion of others, wealth, fame, or grades, but from inside. So listen carefully, and never ask “Why.”
For more insights, stay tuned and check out Part 2.